The most common response by staff who feel that they are above reprimand is to be defensive – almost retaliatory. Staff may tear up a write-up, storm out of the office, spread rumors to other staff, etc., proclaiming all the while at how unfair the situation is – even invoking “I thought we were friends!” Although managers are trained against retaliation, staff members are not.Īgain, it’s difficult to write up your buddy. Why is this such a difficult transition? What is wrong with being friends? When you are the supervisor/manager/boss, any friendships with staff members that you oversee result in whispers of nepotism and unfairness. “Suzie Q got her vacation approved but I didn’t because I don’t hang out with the boss.” New managers yearn to be approved and liked by their staff.Īlong with preferential treatment (real or perceived), failure to hold staff (friends) accountable can be added to the list of pitfalls. Frankly, it’s uncomfortable to hold accountable a longstanding friend, especially when the new manager may have done the same actions as a staff member. Consistently, it is not unusual to find that problem staff members have been acting or performing inappropriately or not to standard for a long time yet there is no documentation in their files. One of the most common mistakes that new supervisors/managers make is trying to maintain personal friendships with the staff. In this age of social connectedness, it is not uncommon to be friends on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or Instagram. The longer staff have worked with each other, the more common it is that they remain connected via these social outlets. Once an employee transitions to management, everything they knew or understood about their relationship with their peers changes. The new manager is no longer considered a friend. The new manager is the ‘they.’ Making the leap from staff to management can feel more like bridging a chasm than jumping over a puddle. In the blink of an eye, the employee goes from being a hard-working, high-quality employee that is well-respected by their peers to being reviled, not trusted, and exiled. It’s awkward at best. A few years ago, I was speaking with a staff member who continuously referred to Administration as “they.” “We were doing our jobs just fine then ‘they’ changed the policy and now we have to take 8 more steps just to complete the same work. It’s ridiculous! ‘They’ couldn’t do our job if they tried!” After learning the process change from the staff member, I offered to investigate the situation and determine what had prompted the change. On the way back to my office it dawned on me: I was the ‘they’! I was Administration. I had crossed over to the status of one of ‘them’ when I had always considered myself to be one of ‘us.’
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